Warning. 11 PM post:
I have had some more thoughts on this matter. Not speaking from personal experience (mainly due to a lack of it), two people will probably only find each other attractive based upon little than their genetic compatibility. Love is to me hardly seems based on things like soul mates or finding things you have in common. Talk about how optimistic people always say that there is someone out there that is right for them may seem nice, but do you really think that other person is going to want you in return? Probably not.
You're kinda right, Initial attraction is physical, it is based on how you look and if someone else likes that... remember everyone likes something different though... so don't worry too much that you don't look like someone else who ploughs through women like your average orbinaut ploughs through MFD addons.
It is important to make the most of what you've got though.
When I was in high school, I used to have a "friend" (using the term loosely) who seemed more interested in a girl's breasts and butt. Yet, he was the one that seemed to go through girlfriends like tissues. Some might like to say that girls enjoy being treated poorly (although I really hope that is not true). Of course the more I got to know him, the bigger a*****e he turned out to be until I was trying to avoid him as much as possible in the last months of my senior year. So how did he get girls? I still do not know. But, I guess the simple fact of the matter is that life is not fair.
And then you have me. I would like to think I was a nice guy, but that is really no substitute for being genetic garbage and socially awkward. Not too awkward, mind you, but concentrating too hard on school work is awkward enough. I have never had a girlfriend for even one minute of my life. Although, it did seem that all of the girls were taken (likely because I went to a technical high school and the ratio of males to females was not equal).
It's not fair at all, but you do have some power over it, you have to try and skew the results in your favour... sounds like you had a very competetive environment at your school though.
Problem is, no one likes a nice guy, well, very few... i don't mean go out of your way to be nasty, or disrespectful, but "nice" can often come over as desperate, needy, trying too hard, fake, subserviant, or any number of things that will actually put a woman off after 20 mins of getting to know you. So, simply put you might find yourself being
too nice in an effort to please, rather than being yourself and more objective about her. And from there its all too easy to end up in the friend trap or bore her / creep her out so she doesn't even want to hang around with you.
There were people who made empty promises or I guess they liked pulling my leg with claims that they would "hook me up" with someone, but that obviously never came to fruition. I guess it is also kind of socially awkward for me (and one or two of my closest friends) to have never known what it is like to kiss a girl while others were loosing their virginity and I was running home to do homework and play Orbiter. But I think it is important to not let these things get to you.
No one can "hook you up" with someone... best you can hope for is an introduction, and perhaps some talking up from your friend beforehand... though i'd recommend you forget that last part. Basically, you're on your own with finding someone... if you want it done right, do it yourself eh?
of course having as large a group of friends as possible helps, since through them you can meet more people (and if they already have girlfriends then so much the better - less competition, their girlfriends probably have some single mates, etc).
If you just haven't got that type of group or aren't comfortable at parties and aren't very social, you can find other ways to meet people... the internet is a great tool for finding anything, even real women who are looking for someone themselves. Then there's educational courses (perhaps try something creative, and i don't mean arc welding, or c++ coding, but you never know), self defense classes, the gym, paintballing... all fun in their own right (ok the gym sucks and it has that 'gym' smell but it'll make you look better) and they just importantly provide great ways to meet people and extend your social circle.
Like I said in an earlier post, since I graduated from high school, I have not talked to a girl my age.
Thats not good... How long ago did you graduate?
this is a good thread. I feel like my life has just been described by other people here, so I guess most orbinauts are the same kind of people, also when it comes to girls.
