Great, now I'm depressed

[Star explorer]

uh no also why would you not let your kids play orbiter its educational

 

[Moonwalker]

Keep one important thing in mind:

Females are something special, they are unique, they are irreplaceable, but thank God they are exchangeable

 

[Missioncmdr]

uh no also why would you not let your kids play orbiter its educational

Out of the fear that they might actually be better at it than you! :lol:

 

[Moonwalker]

Out of the fear that they might actually be better at it than you! :lol:

Which is absolutely true :lol:

 

[Star explorer]

maybe for you guys

 

[Urwumpe]

maybe for you guys

Believe me, that arrogance will one day end.

When you just forget to protect your PDA for 10 minutes and suddenly realize that your 4 year old daughter just made all your high scores obsolete.

 

[Moonwalker]

Believe me, that arrogance will one day end.

When you just forget to protect your PDA for 10 minutes and suddenly realize that your 4 year old daughter just made all your high scores obsolete.

In case you have a 4 year old daughter

The thing I've learned is not to regret after a girl. They don't do so too at all once they're not interested in you anymore, which sometimes can happen way quicker than you can think (even if you have children). But that's just a subjective story.

The phrase I posted above (which is not mine actually) is just funny and always helps a little bit after a bad experience. It's not really meant seriously.

 

[Star explorer]

maybe your obsolete Urwumpe

 

[Arrowstar]

also, although you wanna be cool about it, you need to make your move sooner than later -tell her how you feel, and if shes not into you then get over it and move on... don't get sucked into the 'friend' trap... ugh... i've been there a few times and thats happened to everyone i know at least once. Like the others said, you'll have more misses than hits.. esp at your age, don't worry, it gets easier as you get older.

Yeah, no kidding. I hate this particular 'trap' as you called it. For people like me who like to take it a little slower and get to know the girl, sometimes you get into a comfort zone that's below what you're after. It's really hard to recover from this sort of thing, so it's best to figure it out and man up and ask her ASAP. I'm starting to find that any time frame over two weeks to a month is probably too long - it obviously depends on the girl.

I like to look at the whole courting thing as if it were an engineering design presentation (being a student thereof, I know these well ). You need to radiate confidence. The guy who believes he's a loser and will never find someone WILL NOT end up finding someone. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you can give off that quiet self-confident feeling, one that can project a sense of easy-going, of certainty about who you are and what you stand for, you might just find it easier to say hi to that cute girl you've passed silently in the hall for the last 6 months.

 

[RichWall]

As for the cyber-bullying, if you ever get anything like that, there's a big shiny "Delete Comment" or "Block Contact" button that was designed for that very reason. Besides, if they can't insult you face to face, their comments aren't even worth a second glance.

I absolutely agree with James here. Cyber-bullying is a reflection of their lack of character and lack of conscience. Those that engage in it are actually deeply troubled, insecure and show very little depth of persona.

Just hit the delete button and then go have a good time with some friends.

I think in time you find it better to actually have no "official girlfriend", but many friends that happen to be female.

 

[streb2001]

... she would have been in the way, when a better one comes around.

I wish you told me that 25 years ago! (And i don't mean my wife, who I met when I was 36.)

Pilot7893: hard to believe now but one day you will look back on this episode with wistful nostalgia.

ED. Ah yes, the "just good friends" trap. Avoid. I wasted too much emotional effort on that crap in my youth. I turned down a couple of good advances whilst chasing a "just good friend". The joys of youth, enjoy it while you have it!

 

[Sedna]

Don't keep her in your mind...go out and play at the playground!

Don't worry, I have been rejected 17 times at last count and it is getting less painful.

 

[Hielor]

You mean like: Washing clothes, cook food, keep the kids away from your orbiter installation?

Problem with that is it takes awhile, and usually lots of money, to train the female to that point.*

maybe your obsolete Urwumpe

What was the point of this? why are you being rude to people?

*Disclaimer: The above sentiment is not that which I actually prescribe to.

 

[Eagle]

Yeah, no kidding. I hate this particular 'trap' as you called it. For people like me who like to take it a little slower and get to know the girl, sometimes you get into a comfort zone that's below what you're after. It's really hard to recover from this sort of thing, so it's best to figure it out and man up and ask her ASAP. I'm starting to find that any time frame over two weeks to a month is probably too long - it obviously depends on the girl.

I like to look at the whole courting thing as if it were an engineering design presentation (being a student thereof, I know these well ). You need to radiate confidence. The guy who believes he's a loser and will never find someone WILL NOT end up finding someone. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you can give off that quiet self-confident feeling, one that can project a sense of easy-going, of certainty about who you are and what you stand for, you might just find it easier to say hi to that cute girl you've passed silently in the hall for the last 6 months.

Yes I agree, ask the girl for a date within 2 weeks of meeting her. The girl will make up her mind if she would date you or not a lot sooner than that, it wastes your time to wait.

Confidence is #1. You should act as if you don't need anything she's got, only that she seems to be an interesting enough person to spend some time with.

 

[Arrowstar]

Confidence is #1. You should act as if you don't need anything she's got, only that she seems to be an interesting enough person to spend some time with.

Just make sure you don't go over the top with it. There is a very fine line between arrogance and the confidence I am talking about. Outgoing and friendly is one thing, being a jerk is quite another.

I was originally thinking that I didn't like the way you described it there, Eagle, but I think I may understand better where you were going. At this point, one is definitely still getting to know the girl, so to speak. Just because two people are now seeing each other doesn't mean that they don't have a lot to learn about each other still. Because of that, you should certainly be able to operate on your own without obsessing over her. Now, if you were to marry said girl, then a little more dependence comes with the bargain: financially and otherwise. In both cases, though, if you simply remain who you are, you will be a MUCH more interesting person. This I have also learned through experience.

 

[Coolhand]

The guy who believes he's a loser and will never find someone WILL NOT end up finding someone.

Yeah, you'll have much more success by projecting confidence for sure.

Women won't go for anyone that they percieve as having lower social status than themselves and lack of confidence or self esteem will really lower your percieved status. Of course, how you look and what you wear has a huge influence on this, so make the very best of yourself as much as you can always...

...That said, its no good walking the walk if you can't talk the talk

 

[Linguofreak]

If its gonna work at all then you'll know, cos she'll give you signs - look for lingering looks from afar, eye contact, smiles (but don't go nuts and keep staring or anything, look away first, perhaps with a wry smile. heh.. too much and she'll be creeped out) play it cool, and if she wants to be with you, she'll at least make herself available to talk to.

Just try not to worry about it too much, try and enjoy your life and your own interests, meet as many people your own age as you can, be nice to people at parties but don't be too nice all the time... you're allowed to put yourself first when necessary... nothing will put a girl off quicker (assuming she likes you a bit to begin with) than you seeming to be desperate for her attention.

also, although you wanna be cool about it, you need to make your move sooner than later -tell her how you feel, and if shes not into you then get over it and move on... don't get sucked into the 'friend' trap... ugh... i've been there a few times and thats happened to everyone i know at least once. Like the others said, you'll have more misses than hits.. esp at your age, dont worry, it gets easier as you get older.

Well, being in the middle of the whole thing now myself, I half agree and half disagree with what you've written here.

In my own case, I lost her interest by being too slow about asking her, but I don't really regret that (Well, I really "regret" it, but I don't really regret it, if you know what I mean), because I don't think either of us was mature enough for it at that point (I'm not sure I am now, for that matter). Also, we hadn't really become good friends yet at that point, which leads me to my second point of disagreement:

I'm not quite sure what you mean by the "'friend' trap," but it seems to me that you're talking about that annoying irony by which a man seems to become more in love with a woman as he comes to value their friendship more, whereas a woman tends to wonder what love will do to the friendship and fall out of love. If that's the case, I'm not sure it's a bad thing to get "sucked into." Fairly likely to be excruciatingly painful, yes. Bad, no. (It *is* bad though, to assume that the friendship is your automatic ticket to a girlfriend. No. Women don't think the way we do). I think, though, that friendship is an important part of love, so it's quite likely that by the time you know her well enough for there to be any point (in my view) in going after it, she'll be having second thoughts (if she ever was interested in the first place). I'm not sure you want to avoid this. Her second thoughts do give some warning about what problems there might be that would make a relationship inadviseable. Whether the friendship manages to survive the whole process also gives some insight on whether a relationship would be a good thing (but I'm pretty sure you don't want to think (much less say!) "Ah, we're still friends, that's proof that it will work." Let her realize that on her own, if that be the case).

As far as moving on and getting over it: Externally, you need to get over it very quickly. Trying to keep pursuing the matter will probably do any harm than good. Since, if she ever was interested, she's worried about what love would do to the friendship, your best chance is to go back, as much as possible, to being friends (if you ever were before), without any mention of love. That's a rather tricky act to pull off, and I'm not sure I have pulled it off in my case (in fact, there seems to be a fair chance I've ruined things). Even trickier because, even though it's your best chance, to actually manage to pull it off you have to get yourself into the mindset that you have no chance. But actually pulling it off is a sign to her that you value the friendship, and that you love her enough to let her go her own way even if it loses you everything.

Internally, emotionally, I'm not so sure it's such a good idea to simply "get over it." Don't be too quick or too slow about it. If you really love her, you're simply not going to get over it quickly. On the other hand, if you really love her, you have to let her go. Don't instantly go looking for someone else, even though the stress will make you more desperate for love than ever (*screams*), but don't hang around hoping for her to come around either. The point is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person, and if you tear yourself up too much by denying your feelings, or trying to keep them going, or any of the thousand and one things you'll be tempted to do, you won't be the right person even if you do find someone else, or if the one you were after in the first place changes her mind, and then if you do actually get into a relationship, you'll have quite possibly set yourself up to fail.

 

[Eagle]

The 'friend zone' trap is where a guy becomes friends with a girl hoping it will become something more.

The problem is that the girl accepts the friendship, but she has either evaluated the guy as 'not interested' or eventually loses her initial interest.

It only works if the girl is interested in the guy to begin with and continues to be.

That's at least what I've found out. (and yes I've tried the friend approach and it didn't work)

 

[Linguofreak]

Keep one important thing in mind:

Females are something special, they are unique, they are irreplaceable, but thank God they are exchangeable

Depends how you mean that. If a woman isn't interested in you, she will tell you to find someone else, and in that sense they are exchangeable.

But I have been told that once a woman *is* interested, she will want to be reminded often and above all *truthfully* that you do not find her at all exchangeable. I have also heard that the lack of frequent reminders, or any evidence that your heart isn't behind them (such as glances at the wrong girl) is one of the biggest strains on a relationship from the woman's side.

 

[Star explorer]

Problem with that is it takes awhile, and usually lots of money, to train the female to that point.*


What was the point of this? why are you being rude to people?

*Disclaimer: The above sentiment is not that which I actually prescribe to.

can't you guys take a joke when you see one. if i was really that mean i am sorry.

I think in time you find it better to actually have no "official girlfriend", but many friends that happen to be female.

thats called being a player :lol:

PS: again sorry if i was rude and mean i was only trying to make a joke