Dear Dr. Tunde,
A colleague of mine passed onto me your harrowing story regarding your cousin Major Tunde. That poor man, being on orbit all this time!
Let me introduce myself. I am Dr. James Lester, assistant financial Director of ISA, the International space agency. We are one of five agencies competing to win the COTS award to supply NASA with equipment and supplies for the International Space Station and this is why your email came across my desk.
Whilst we don't actually have the ability to dock with a Salyut station test equipment carried on the recent STS-128 mission to the International Space station did validate a lot of the technologies we will use to dock with the ISS and, as I'm sure you can appreciate, mounting an actual space mission requires some heavy financing and that's an area where we are a little lacking at the moment and I do blame myself for some of this but I never realised that setting up factory facilities for manufacturing rocket components would be so expensive! I can now see why one of the other COTS agencies failed.
Anyway, I digress, I am sure that with some funding ($1million) and time we could work together and bring your cousin home, not only would this be a major headline for us but it would also prove to NASA and ESA that we can do better than they can. I will bring some of my people in on this and we can start planning the actual flight. The Russians are secretive people so I would appreciate it if you could reply with the orbital elements of this Salyut station. If you could also arrange a down payment of, say, $20,000 we can kick this off. Please DON'T talk to the Russians anymore. We have heard that they are having serious production issues after one of their ISS Soyuz rockets was damaged in a train crash.
Thank you Dr. Tunde for this wonderful opportunity.
Dr. Lester.
Assistant Financial Director
ISA
Ascension Island.
