Humor Random Comments Thread

[Andy44]

 

[Andy44]

Random lesson learned: DO NOT LOSE YOUR CAR KEYS WHILE ON A NATURE HIKE!

A great day turned real ugly today. I drove to Great Falls National Park in Virginia and parked my truck, locking my wallet and cell phone inside (at least I did something smart). I put my car keys inside a small accesorry case on the strap of my camera bag, and headed out to Mather Gorge below the falls to take some photos of the Potomac River. 90 degrees F, but there was a slight breeze and I stayed in the shade, so I was happy. Sun shining, birds chirping, and all that. I reached the river bank, which is mostly cliffs and rocks here, and lots of teenagers are jumping off a cliff into the river. Took some action photos, climbed down to the water, set down my stuff and took a little swim myself. Water was very nice. Got out, grabbed my camera gear, and hiked back to the parking lot, only to find my keys had fallen out of the half-unzipped case somewhere along the way!

Spent the next 3 hours hoping AAA could send a tow truck before the Park Police locked the gates. Since my wallet was in the truck, I couldn't even pay for a ride home. On top of all that there was a huge thunderstorm raging as it got dark. It's still raining even now. (My avatar is pretty much what I looked like as I waited by the toll booth of the park for the tow truck to arrive, but without the sunglasses.)

Finally, the rollback truck showed up and we carried my pickup truck back to my house, where I jimmied my own front door and went in to get my spare keys so I could get my wallet, so I could pay the driver and park my truck where it belongs. What an awful experience, and it could've gotten much worse. At least I didn't get locked in the park, had spare keys, and Triple-A helped me out in time.

NEVER, NEVER LOSE YOUR KEYS!

 

[Linguofreak]

Hallo!

Hello!
Hola!
Bonjour!
Zdravstvuite!
Konniti wa!

 

[computerex]

Can someone please tell my why this fails?

if (pow(64, 1.0/3.0)==4)
            std::cout << "nI am an idiot";

 

[tblaxland]

Can someone please tell my why this fails?

if (pow(64, 1.0/3.0)==4)
            std::cout << "nI am an idiot";

Because you're not an idiot?

 

[simonpro]

Can someone please tell my why this fails?

if (pow(64, 1.0/3.0)==4)
            std::cout << "nI am an idiot";

Floating point calculations f*****d? I switched on some optimisation the other day (I forget which, probably -ffast-math) and that screwed up all the FP calcs. Maybe something similar has happened here so it's finding that 64^(1/3) is actually 3.999999999999 instead of 4.0

 

[computerex]

sigh...A simple program I was writing for school in order to help simplify radicals. This is REALLY strange:

char buff[255];
    sprintf(buff, "%.6f", pow(64, 1.0/3.0));
    std::cout << "n" << buff;
    if (pow(64, 1.0/3.0)==4)
        std::cout << "nI am an idiot";
    if (1.0 == 1)
       std::cout << "nTEST";

What it SHOULD output:

4.000000
I am an idiot
TEST

But what it does output:

4.000000
TEST

Here's the source for the entire program. For my ti-83 calculator:

#include <iostream>
#include <math.h>

typedef struct 
{
    double x, y;
}pair;

bool breakcube(double radi, double inx, pair& pr)
{
    double cb = 0;
    for (int i = 2; i < radi; i++)
    {
        cb=i;
        for (int j = 1; j < inx; j++)
             cb*=i;
        for (int j = 1; j < radi; j++)
        {
            if (cb*j==radi)
            {
                pr.x = cb;
                pr.y = j;
                return true; 
                
            }
        }
    }
    return false;
}
int main()
{
    double radi = 0;
    double cb   = 0;
    double inx  = 0;
    char   buff[500];
    while(true)
    {
        std::cout << "nEnter radicand ('quit' to terminate): ";
        std::cin >> buff;
        if (!strcmp(buff, "quit"))
            return 0;
        radi=atof(buff); 
        std::cout << "nEnter index: ";
        std::cin >> inx;
        cb = pow(radi, 1.0/inx);
        if (cb == (int)cb)
        {
            std::cout << "nPerfect " << inx << " : "; 
            for (int i = 0; i < inx; i++)
            {
                std::cout << cb;
                if (i!=inx-1)
                    std::cout << " * ";
            }
            std::cout << " = " << pow(cb, inx);
            continue;
        }
        pair pr;
        if (breakcube(radi, inx, pr))
           std::cout << "n" << radi << " can be broken by: " << pr.x << " * " << pr.y;
        else
           std::cout << "n" << radi << " cannot be broken";
    }
    return 0;
}

 

[simonpro]

“The joy of seeing Yurij Gagarin flying in space is only superseded by the joy of a good penalty save.”

Best.quote.ever.

 

[C3PO]

“The joy of seeing Yurij Gagarin flying in space is only superseded by the joy of a good penalty save.”

Best.quote.ever.

Are you on drugs? :rofl:

 

[simonpro]

Are you on drugs? :rofl:

Yes, actually.:lol:
Painkillers. Side effects are not known to include quoting communist goalkeepers, however.

 

[Urwumpe]

“The joy of seeing Yurij Gagarin flying in space is only superseded by the joy of a good penalty save.”

Best.quote.ever.

Which englishman said that?

Instead of the lunar landing hoax, we will soon read the "English penalty saves" hoax, with people claiming that it is impossible in real tournament and was faked for TV. And young people claiming, that it must be a fake, because they never managed to do it again in 40 years. :lol:

 

[astrosammy]

• Notice on a packet of peanuts - Warning: May Contain Nuts :rofl:
• Notice in a Sainsbury's supermarket - Houseplants are for ornamental use only and not for consumption
• Advice on a Golden Graham's cereal packet - For best results eat with your mouth closed
• Advert for a Rowenta iron - Do not iron on body
• Warning on Marks and Spencer Pudding - Caution! Product will be hot after heating :rofl:
• Help on US airline packet of nuts - Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts
• Warning on a Swedish Chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain by hand :rofl:
• Advice on Nytol (sleep-aid) - Warning, may cause drowsiness
• McDonald's coffee cups in US warn - Contents may be hot
• Warning on a CHILDREN's cough medicine - May cause drowsiness. Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery :rofl:
• Notice on Chinese Xmas lights - for indoor and outdoor use only :rofl:
• Printed on the Bottom of Tesco's tiramisu dessert - Do not turn upside down :rofl:
• Instructions on a Japanese clock - To replace a battery, remove old one and insert new one
• Caution on a Korean Kitchen Knife - Warning: keep out of children :rofl:
• Baffling instruction on a Japanese food processor - Not to be used for the other use
• Recommendation on Sunmaid raisins - Why not try tossing over your favourite cereal?
• Advice by Nokia mobile phones - Use only in normal position (to ear)
• Caution on Sevylor PVC Waterbed - This item is not to be eaten
• Note on the Acme ultrasonic dog whistle - This product will be ineffective if your dog is deaf

http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~choh/warnings.htm

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[unussapiens]

I just lost the game.

 

[simonpro]

Which englishman said that?

Instead of the lunar landing hoax, we will soon read the "English penalty saves" hoax, with people claiming that it is impossible in real tournament and was faked for TV. And young people claiming, that it must be a fake, because they never managed to do it again in 40 years. :lol:

I think that the English believe saving a penalty is "unsportsmanlike". Either that or they really need some better coaching staff for the keepers.

England's super penalty taking methods:

(edited because I don't know how to do youtube links)
(edited again) Seems you do youtube links by NOT pressing the youtube button.

 

[Urwumpe]

Don't take too many steps before shooting a penalty. You should get a German third league coach for teaching Lampard how to shoot:
1. Take a run up
2. Close eyes
3. Sing national anthem
4. Shoot
5. Open eyes and watch where the ball is going



Also the English Goalkeepers must have been chosen for their lack of reactions when somebody shoots at their goal, some sort of Battle of Britain attitude. Didn't they learn anything from Jens Lehmann? You need a small sheet of paper in your glove! It is important!

EDIT: Same song, same band, 25 years later...

 

[stjimmy225]

i saw the only flying vulcan bomber fly over the barn i'm building today about 400ft above my head, was truly impressive, especially because the fairford airshow got cancelled so it still has a good novelty value

 

[TSPenguin]

Team Galaxy? Never heard of it. Time to get random.
THEY ARE EATING MY BRAINS! Oh wait, thats not random enough.
Looking for a dentist, nah really... oh wait.... no. yep. sure thing!

 

[Andy44]

THEY ARE EATING MY BRAINS!

Zombies? I spent the afternoon preparing to fend them off by discharging various firearms for fun and practice on a friend's property out in the countryside. Nothing like grilled hamburgers and the smell of smokeless propellant burning.

 

[TSPenguin]

I'll be attending a birthday party with alcohol served...

 

[Lunar_Lander]

NEVER, NEVER LOSE YOUR KEYS!

SO TRUE!!! About two months earlier, I cycled to ALDI to buy some things for my mom for the weekend. On the parking lot I realized, that I forgot the keys for my bike's lock at home! D'oh!

Does anybody know whether I can install the new version of the Nokia tune (the piano one) on my 3310? I still have the old, electronic version.

And Murphy says...nothing BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND THE BOOK RIGHT NOW!!!

xD (I have a Murphy's Law book but it's really gotten absent right now)