Humor Random Comments Thread

[Urwumpe]

Knew it! Of course it's a car from Wolfsburg .

You don't bite the hand that feeds you, you now. :lol::lol:

 

[mojoey]

Well, it looks like you could install some SRBs on it.

The VW Golf you say? Is it made out of iron, perhaps? Nein Iron?

I'm going to make myself scarce now.

 

[Fabri91]

It's a Polo!

When buying a new car order it like you want it, not like somebody else might like to improve "resellability".

 

[Urwumpe]

It's a Polo!

When buying a new car order it like you want it, not like somebody else might like to improve "resellability".

Of course After all, its also you who should drive this car. And being a bit edgy is never bad...

After all... 160 Nm for a 1200 kg car is a pretty nice torque....

 

[Fabri91]

Please, do elaborate. Which configuration? TSI/TDI?

 

[Urwumpe]

Please, do elaborate. Which configuration? TSI/TDI?

OK, in quick-form and I hope I translate it all properly:

Basic car: Volkswagen Polo Comfortline 66 kW (90 PS) BlueMotion 1.2l TSI with 5 speed transmission
Colour: Blue Silk Metallic

Standard features (A lot of it part of the Comfortline configuration):

• side mirror housing and door handles in car color
• turn indicators in mirror housing
• polished metal roof post cover
• Halogen head lights and turn indicators in common clear glass housing
• corrosion-protected body
• black radiator grill with chrome fillet on lowest blade
• shock absorbers in car color, with air inlets with chrome fillet
• green heat protection glass for front, side and rear windows
• 2 cup holders on front dash board
• storage bins for all doors (at the front with 1.5l bottle holder)
• storage bags at the back of the front seats
• Air outlets and gear shift sleeve adorned with Chrome
• pearl-grey ceiling
• double floor in trunk
• trunk cover
• dampened hand rails
• Chrome parking brake lever release button
• glovebox with cooling capability
• dash board instruments lined with chrome
• foamed dash board
• front leg space light
• Light selection rotary switch lined with Chrome
• center arm rest at front with storage box and folding cup holder for rear seats
• Non-smoker equipment: power socket instead of cigarette lighter
• asymmetrically folding rear seats
• Storage drawers below front seats
• textile seat covers, design "Rail"
• shopping bag hooks in trunk
• textile floor mats
• door covers with mat chrome fillet
• Height-adjustable front seats
• Three-point automatic seat belts in the rear
• 3 head rests for rear seats
• Airbags for driver and nagging wife, airbag for nagging wife can be deactivated.
• three-point seat belt for center rear seat
• height-adjustable three-point seat belts in front with tensioner
• electronic stability control including ABS, TCS, electronic locking differential and "Motor-Schleppmoment-Regelung" (engine idle slip torque control, VW technology without English equivalent)
  • Note by car manufacturer: "Keep on driving cautiously, because this system does not override the laws of physics"
• ISOFIX latches for two baby seats in the rear
• combined head and side airbags
• "Multikollisionbremse" ("multi-collision brake", again VW technobabble for something that stops your car automatically after a collision to prevent further collisions)
• Tire pressure control indicator
• Rear disk brakes
• Front disk brakes with internal air cooling
• Safety-optimized head rests for front seats
• First aid kit and warning sign
• automatic warning lights after emergency stop
• electronic engine immobilizer
• two reading lights in front and one in the rear
• aspherical driver side mirror
• electronic adaptable side mirrors with electric heaters
• Hill-holder
• double-tone signal horn
• gear selection recommendation in combined instrument
• trunk lighting
• fixtures for first aid kit and warning sign
• Intermittent rear window wipers
• Interior light with delay and microswitches in doors
• white instrument lights, dimmable, red night-time color scheme for buttons.
• Combined instrument with electronic speedometer, odometer and tachometer
• comfort turn indicators (one press = 3 blinking indications)
• Warning lights and service interval display
• height- and distance adaptable steering wheel
• lightened make-up mirrors for both front seats
• Multifunction display "plus"
  • Indicates stuff like oil temperature, current consumption, estimated range of the car, etc.
• "ParkPilot" (acoustic warning for obstacles while parking)
• Electro-mechanic power steering, velocity-adaptive
• Start-Stop-system with regenerative brake
• Warning tone for activated light
• Warning tone and warning lights for missing front seat belts
• Power door locks with radio remote control and two radio keys

(As usual: Not much that exceeds the expected product of a modern car, but some cool features already in the basic configuration)

Extras:

• 4 doors (with electric windows)
• "CUP"-Package:
  • light-metal alloy wheels "Rivazza" 7 J x 16
  • On-board tool kit and car jack
  • Automatic light, with daytime running lights, "Leaving home" function and manual "coming home" function
  • Cruise control
  • Leather parking brake lever
  • automatic shading rear view mirror
  • air conditioning type "Climatronic"
  • Ram air duct with activated carbon absorber
  • Leather steering wheel, three spokes design
  • Driver drowsiness detection
  • fog lamp and bending light
  • Wheel guards with theft protection
  • Rain sensors
  • Tires 215/45 R16
  • Steel spare wheel 6 J x 15 with driving tire
  • leather gear shift lever
• Winter package
  • Automatic heaters for the front window washer jets.
  • Head lamp wash system
  • Heated front seats
  • warning light for washing fluid level
• Radio "Composition Colour"
  • 6 speakers
  • 12.7 cm colour touch display
  • CD player with MP3 support
  • SD card slot
  • "Diversify" antenna
  • AUX-IN interface
• Winter tires 185/60 R15T with 6 J x 15 steel wheels

The BlueMotion technology stuff is about making the car abit more ecologic (for teh climate), with stuff like regenerative brake or start-stop-mechanism... The manufacturer says, it will consume 4.2 liters for 100 km - I expect around 6 liters. Also it "only" emits 107 g CO2 per km.

 

[astrosammy]

Hanover-Amsterdam-Bergen. Weather should be better over there...

 

[MattBaker]

A quite nice delta-v map of our solar system.

Sadly lacking more moons...

 

[Matias Saibene]

Ordered my first brand-new car ever in my life today... feel absolutely excited. Had always been buying used-cars in the past, now I decided that its time to take a chance and buy something fresh from the assembly line.

Congratulations. In our country the German automotive industry is considered excellent, so I guess that you have made a good buy:thumbup:.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

A quite nice delta-v map of our solar system.

Sadly lacking more moons...

I wonder which of those came first, the one for our system, or the one for KSP?

:hmm:

 

[MattBaker]

I wonder which of those came first, the one for our system, or the one for KSP?

The one for KSP, this one is less than a day old and inspired by the KSP one.

Now I think about it I should have given the source, credit to the author and stuff.

 

[Ghostrider]

A hundred years ago was Serbia's finest hour. If by finest you mean "major -up that resulted in major conflicts for the next 70 years". Alright, maybe not finest. Ah dammit, a hundred years ago Serbia ed up.

Well, for a bunch of amateur anarchists they accomplished the mission. And anyway, that was only a pretext, all major euro powers had war plans ready for some time. Sooner or later they would have moved anyway. But no western european likes to look at oneself in a mirror and say "I'm a bloodthirsty monster that should be marooned on Ceti Alpha V forever".

 

[Fabri91]

OK, in quick-form and I hope I translate it all properly:

Basic car: Volkswagen Polo Comfortline 66 kW (90 PS) BlueMotion 1.2l TSI with 5 speed transmission
Colour: Blue Silk Metallic

Standard features (A lot of it part of the Comfortline configuration):

*snip*

The BlueMotion technology stuff is about making the car abit more ecologic (for teh climate), with stuff like regenerative brake or start-stop-mechanism... The manufacturer says, it will consume 4.2 liters for 100 km - I expect around 6 liters. Also it "only" emits 107 g CO2 per km.

Good choice: those smaller turbocharged engines are frighteningly good.
Our Focus Wagon with the 125PS 1 liter engine manages to get 6 liter/100km on non-motororway driving with the A/C off, while with it on it's more like 6.6/7 l/100km, so your estimate seems reasonable (maybe a bit pessimistic, since your car should be a bit lighter, but then, it of course depends on the driving profile).

Once on a trip to southern Germany (so Swiss motorways with their 120km/h limit nearly all the way) we averaged about 5.2l/100km, which isn't bad. That average didn't last long after the encounter with German motorways, though.

 

[SolarLiner]

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/videos/lectures/vklecture-TheCassini-HuygensMissionToSaturn030320.m4v

TFW at 32:20 you can finally understand what the man says

 

[Quick_Nick]

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, “Can I have a glass of H2O.”
The second chemist says “Can I have a glass of water too.”
The first chemist broke down in tears – his assassination attempt had failed.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2013/10/50-people-on-the-most-intellectual-joke-i-know/

 

[Izack]

That whole list is great, though I didn't understand quite all of them.

 

[jedidia]

I just saw an add on some site, it read: "Thousands of teens in foster care would love to put up with you!"

I did a double take, read it two times more, then realised that, yes, this really was an add by an organisation for adoptions, not a "partner site" or some other thinly veiled escort service dealing in the barely legal department.

Seriously, do people ever test their adds before they put them up?

 

[mojoey]

Ouch...

 

[Quick_Nick]

Chris Hadfield's family put together the most Canadian music video they could.

 

[Linguofreak]

The "rocks and trees" bit reminds me of this: