I do not like primates generally! In some ways they are more scary than the dedicated predators (tigers, bears, sharks, etc.).
That's because tigers, bears, sharks and all dedicated predators are highly-trained professionals with a passion for their line of work and who take great pride in a job well done.
Primates, on the other hand, are a bunch of amateurs. Ask any wolf what he or she thinks about them and the answer will be something along the lines of "they're just prey with delusions of grandeur". Big cats are even harsher, dismissing the newcomers as "two-legged rednecks".
"They mess up everything," a grizzly bear who desires to maintain anonimity told the
Local Fauna "I mean, we coordinate our efforts with the local scavengers and we hold to our territory and hunting quotas. Keep in mind that we bears are omnivores so for us it's not a full-time job like it is, for instance, with the wolves, but we know our stuff unlike those bozos."
"If they can't hunt properly, I say: stick to insects." A wolf from the local pack added. "They have no idea what it means to put a pack together, hold it together especially in these times of prey crisis, and hold on to predator discipline and values. I'll say again, stick to insects but at least try to behave like a good insectivore. Take a lesson from anteaters, the courses start in two months."
A representative from the primates was not available for comment because he was too busy flinging poo around and eating his own lice.
