Humor The Demented Wish Game

Granted: all humans believe that we landed on the moon, but no one is sure which 'moon' we landed on.

I wish I had a hamburger
 
Granted: you eat said hamburger but catch Mad Cow Disease in the process and wind up strapped to a gurney in the waiting room of a dingy hospital in a seedy suburb of Detroit.

I wish that I could overclock my CPU to 8 GHz.
 
Granted: you eat said hamburger but catch Mad Cow Disease in the process and wind up strapped to a gurney in the waiting room of a dingy hospital in a seedy suburb of Detroit.

I wish that I could overclock my CPU to 8 GHz.

Granted but your computer melts down

I wish for a puppy
 
granted, its made by Ikea so some assembly required

I wish I was rich
 
Granted. Your car is now running so rich, it floods when you hit the gas.

I wish for something shiny.
 
granted. You're lungs are replaced by the oxygen system of the F-22 Raptor, and die of hypoxia.

I want sleep
 
Granted. You fall asleep every minute.
I wish for my wish of getting a $1000000 to be granted undemented.
 
Granted. You fall asleep every minute.
I wish for my wish of getting a $1000000 to be granted undemented.

Granted. The money is stolen from poor people.

I wish that i could wish...
 
Granted. You wish a wish for a thousand fish. Eww! The smell!

I wish the above smell would go away.
 
Granted. You wish a wish for a thousand fish. Eww! The smell!

I wish the above smell would go away.

Granted. You're nose is removed with a rusty olive fork.

I wish for a rusty olive fork.
 
Granted. You're nose is removed with a rusty olive fork.

I wish for a rusty olive fork.

Granted! bonus the fork comes with a nose.

I wish my satellite TV provider wasn't run by idiots
 
It's run by clever people who figure out that they aren't charging you enough for it.

I wish ... I had a portal gun!
 
Granted! Your portal gun is two meters in length, has wheels, a sixteen centimeter bore, and requires gunpowder to operate.

I wish I hadn't made that pun.
 
Granted! Your portal gun is two meters in length, has wheels, a sixteen centimeter bore, and requires gunpowder to operate.

I wish I hadn't made that pun.

Granted. Your mouth was removed at birth.


I wish that this thread was locked
 
Granted. People start posting their random comments in the basement, and the whole forum gets locked.
I wish I knew the name of the cute hobbit chick Frodo was dancing with in Lord of the Rings.
 
Granted. People start posting their random comments in the basement, and the whole forum gets locked.
I wish I knew the name of the cute hobbit chick Frodo was dancing with in Lord of the Rings.

Granted. Turns out, she is actually a he.


I wish for something...why not zoidberg?
 
Granted. You got a new, super-useless cube called: Zoidberg. And the only thing it do's is rolling. Nothing more.

I wish that I be evil.
 
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